insult.to.irony [lora]

you're not privy to what's on my mind.

Tue, 09 Jul 2002 07:31:09 GMT

this journal has gone to "friends only". i'm sick of certain people reading stuff that i don't particularly want them reading, so..voila!

i've left all the songs that i've posted, over the years, up here though. i thought i should give you snoops something to look at.

if you want more, be a friend. [click on 'friend']

sooooooo impossible

Sat, 06 Jul 2002 08:45:00 GMT

so she says
"everyone's going to the party,
won't you come if i come
with a friend for your friend?
i'd be so pleased to see you
out of the classroom wearing the smile that i'll bring you.
i was hoping to learn a few things like..
do you do you like dishing the dirt
on the whole class and
talking the big smack and
playing the fool and
wearing all of the latest fashions
or bucking the new trends
wearing your old threads.
if you like coffee in the evening.
these are a few things that i'd like to know
that i'd like to know"

so i said...
"i've been scheduled to work but i'll call in
and my friend isn't busy
[s]he'd be happy to join me
and maybe my friend
and your friend
will hit it off or maybe we will?"

i'm dying to know
do you do you like dreaming of things
so impossible or only the practical
or ever the wild or waiting through all your bad bad days
just to end them with
someone you care about
and do you like making out
and long drives and ~~brown~~ green eyes
and ~~guys~~ girls that just
don't quite fit in
yeah do you like them
so yes, i'll see you there.

Thu, 30 May 2002 08:22:46 GMT

i'm not sure of anyone, anyone.
but i've got plans.
i'm not asking for everything, but sure, i could use a hand.

get a little anxious sometimes
you'll be gone and i'll be left behind
get a little nervous sometimes
it'll be my queue and i'll forget my lines
get a little lost look, as i'm staring from the corner of my eye.
never really mastered disinterest.

i can't see how the way that you leave me only makes us close
i must be out of touch.
i won't ask you to give up on the things that seem to keep you gone
but i could be gone too.

feel a little sorry sometimes, you're not here when i am writing
feels a little awkward sometimes, you won't talk but we're not fighting
you hold on to your secrets, and i'm not privy to whats on your mind
but i cannot help but feel tired, so tired, so tired

for krissy

Sat, 20 Apr 2002 06:48:08 GMT

it's been a year now since you were here now
and i've been trying to heal inside
dedications of how i placed
and I see your resemblance in my face
and on our birthday i said an extra wish for you

and i have learned so much since you been gone
and i have done so little for so long
so now i'll settle up my grievances
and focus on the savory
and wave all these discrepancies away
and i'll figure out these misconceptions
give out faith at my discretion
live a life that you would think was sane

displaying changes
that they have made
and i wonder if you really wanted it this way
and in your memory they even hung a plaque for you

and i have learned so much since you been gone
and i have done so little for so long.
so now i'll settle up these grievances
and focus on the savory
and wave all these discrepancies away.
and i'll figure out these misconceptions
give out faith at my discretion
live a life that you would think was sane

my hope is feeling worn...

Thu, 07 Feb 2002 15:42:37 GMT

i'd like to hire a plane. i'd see you in the morning, when the day is fresh. i'm coming home again. it's warmer where you're waiting. it feels more like july. there's pillows in their cases and one of those is mine. and you wrote the words 'i love you', and sprayed it with perfume. it is better than the fire is to heat this lonely room. it is warmer where you're waiting it feels more like july.

lost oars

Wed, 24 Oct 2001 08:04:12 GMT

I'm floating down a river
Oars freed from their holes long ago
Lying face up on the floor of my vessel
I marvel at the stars
And feel my heart overflow
Further down the river
Further down the river
Further down the river
Further down the river
Two weeks without my lover
I'm in this boat alone
Floating down a river named emotion
Will I make it back to shore
Or drift into the unknown
Further down the river
Further down the river
Further down the river
Further down the river
I'm building an antenna
Transmissions will be sent when I am through
Maybe we'll meet again further down the river
And share what we both discovered...
Then revel in the view
Further down the river
Further down the river
Further down the river
Further down the river

i can't remember you ever loving me...

Sun, 22 Jul 2001 14:10:50 GMT

it's about being in love
it's about being in hate
it's about not wanting to miss you
it's about wanting you dead
push the walls open
i wanna see my memories bleed
no i don't remember you ever loving me
i think that was your fucking fantasy
i think you want everything
push the walls open
i wanna see my memory bleed
no i don't remember you loving me
i remember the back of your head
leaving

and now i am quite sure you want
everything everything everything everything
everything everything everything everything
outta me

'pure hate'

Sat, 21 Jul 2001 09:35:13 GMT

at times when thier
claws bled me dry
when I caught myself asking
me if I should die
all the times they killed
me with their smiles
the question stands
is this my time to die
you came along
you spoke to me
you fed me well
you spoke the truth
everytime their kindness
turned to lies
when I caught myself asking
me if I should die
at times when their
claws bled me dry
the question still stands
is this my time to die
I'll keep you always
in my heart
it brings me to my knees
I'll carry you with me
it breaks my skin with ease
I love you so
the knife is in your hands
I love you

pure hate done as planned

md 20/20

Fri, 15 Dec 2000 05:43:26 GMT

Go back to those gold soundz
And keep my advent to your cell
Because it's nothing that I don't like
Is it a crisis or a boring change
When it's central, so essential
It has a nice ring when you laugh
At the low-life opinions
And they're coming to the chorus now

I keep my address to yourself
Cause we need secrets
We need secret, cret, cret, cret, crets
Back right now

Because I never want to make you feel
That you're social, never ignorant soul
Believe in what you want to do
And do you think that is a major flaw
When they rise up in the falling rain
And if you stay around with your knuckles ground down
The trials over, the weapon's found

Keep my address to myself
Cause it's secret
Cause it's secret, cret,
cret,cret,cret,cret,cret,cret,cret,cret,cret,cret,
Back right now

So drunk in the august sun
And you're the kind of girl I like
Because you're empty, and I'm empty
And you can never quarantine the past
Did you remember in December
That I won't eat you when I'm gone
And if I go there, I won't stay there
Because I'm sitting here too long
I've been sitting here too long
And I've been wasting
Allocating outward
For the last word
Last words come up
All you've got to waste/wait

correct change only, please

Thu, 14 Dec 2000 05:33:16 GMT

i hear what you're saying
i may seem out of order
nothings quite the same now
as it ever was before her
and you're looking at me
with one of those sideways glances
you say i'm giving too much
and taking too many chances

but i won't believe you now
i've got to check this out
and nothing you can do
will convince me otherwise
you're just trying to be a friend
I know the message is well meant
but none of it does compare to her eyes

just go easy on me
i'm feeling out of order
i'm beaten and i'm wounded
like i never was before her
and i know you're talking sense
but i can't forget about her
you say i'm good as dead
if i keep it up much longer

but i won't believe you now
i've got to check this out
and nothing you can do
will convince me otherwise
you're just trying to be a friend
i know the message is well meant
but none of it does compare to her eyes

out and about

Thu, 14 Dec 2000 05:04:01 GMT

yes i'm out yes it's good
oh yes i'm not shy you can ask me questions
yeah that's fine yes i think about it
oh yes all the time yes it defines me
oh but this definition is mine

well of coursee i think about it everyday
i thought i had to move 3000 miles away
trading college credit for a term of therapy
well you can try
but you can't clean what's not dirty

now you yes you have to answer too
tell me what scares you
look at yourself too write down if you can
now sit back and relax
i'll do all the work here

so i'm sorry if oh i fall back from you
so quick to shift your gaze
and oh i'm sorry too
you're not out to your parents when you're 22
but i've lost too much already
i can't pretend for you

all through september
i tired and tried to tell you
your late night messages
left like too much i already knew
of course they had to fall short
cuz it's not that easy
your parents were not for me
just your projection of me